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Thursday, July 28, 2011

The One Who Has Influenced the Way I See the World

 
  I'm not going to talk about some dignitary or larger-than-life character here, nor any from the vast world of fiction...not because there is none who has influenced me, but because of the simple fact that right now, there is just one person who fits this description...he is someone in my life, he is amazingly real, and he influences me to see the world the way I do, every single day, every single moment...he does not need a name, or a label, or any salutation..he knows what I'm all about, and just the fact that he's there has changed my whole world, for a million times better. He came into my life during a rough phase, and till then, I'd been this person for whom everything was at the extreme level..my emotions, my decisions, the way I saw life and its happenings..learning to take things easy or as they come was definitely not my thing..'hyper' should have been my middle name, and depression and pessimism more or less made up my days..But he walked in like a breath of fresh air, embodying everything I did not have and yearned for, and freed me, from myself..I did not change completely overnight, nor did the world..but he made the sun appear through my dark clouds..I'm still crazy, melodramatic and hyper, but that's not the be-all and end-all of my life now.. I take out time to think, to judge and reason..to be optimistic..He makes me hope, he makes me happy..the whole world seems like the inside of a warm pillow to me, with its pros and cons, of course..But with him, everything is brighter, more colorful, there's music and a certain kind of magic which I'd hitherto been deaf and blind to..everything just appears so beautiful and special, because that is how he makes me feel..I felt I was growing up too fast, but he brought back the child in me, and made me love myself, relax and enjoy..He's my sun, it's his glow that I bask in, and somehow, strangely, we've made this world ours, together...


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

DARK

Fingers
Skeletal, grubby hand prints,
Fingernails, broken...
Rotten, dirty, graffiti-ed, dark...
Scratching, scratching,
At your flawless pink walls,
Scratching at your surface,
Clawing up your sickly sweet bubblegum...
Ensnared.
And the day goes on,
Like any other day,
Silence, all around,
Loneliness, too profound...
Just the creaking,
Disjointed feet on missing stairs,
Just the squeaking,
Rusty fan on its orbit,
Just the screeching,
My nails on your walls,
Dumb, monotonous, bubblegum...
My nails and your hollow face, dark...


The walls close in,
Yet the distance grows
The afternoon sun,
Lazy, amorous, meaningless.
And then... dark, that's how it goes...
Buzzing in my ears,
Salty eyes,
Dreamless stare,
Do they suffice?
Drumming inside my head,
Heartache in lonely bed,
And screaming, scheming, seeming,
Reality invades, menacing...dark...


A tiny heart,
And its minuscule problems,
Yet this throbbing
Larger than life
In endless waters, I want to dive,
Never to resurface...
Yet my nails, those grossly curious nails,
Scratch at your surface,
Your myriad-hued rainbow,
Your pink pretty perfect life,
For one gulp of air,
For some love and care,
Scratch, rip, claw, tear,
Vaudeville and mindless fanfare...
Dark,
All around me, chasing, chasing,
Dark,
Engulfing, overpowering, omnipotent, severe,
Dark,
It's so dark in here...






Sunday, October 3, 2010

One Afternoon...

All day mumble,
Thoughts in a jumble,
A loser's gamble,
I take a tumble,
And in free-fall mode
Rusty fan and hallucinations...


You paint me,
In bare necessities,
I pose, you devour me,
Helpless, innocent,oh-so-dolled up,
Of feeling and Saving,
And Groping and Raping,
I still pose, on the dusty divan,
With over-sized goggles and burnt-out fags,
My body full of your invisible tags,
Ooh a Dali, or a Warhol in person...
Rigid, frigid, of bottled-away passion,
Your attempts foiled,
The sheet's soiled,
I'm yesterday's Muse,
With only a stale excuse...


Run Erendira Run,
Run Lola Run,
And after all of you are done,
I'll still be waiting for my turn,
And in the lies you told
Peeling walls and Auburn wigs...


In the balcony,
The afternoon sky so red,
The leaves so still,
Parched,wanting to heal...
A nip on my neck, pressure on my thighs,
You wanna make love, I can see it in your eyes...
Your necessity, and I'm bare
Stop...the neighbors do stare..
Broken blinds, and furtive glances,
An occasional cackle...Stop...
Oh shame and voyeurs...
Stop!


Bitch, this is the way to be,
This shows we are free,
This is so Warholesque, so rebellious, don't you see?
This tells and sells, Oh yes, I can see...
Dying a thousand deaths,
In your grunts and breaths,
Of my long-lost youth,
In your half-baked truth,
Grope, saliva and senseless drivel...
And you continue to stifle...
Love, Love, Love,
Take me high above,
A flash of lightning, one hard push,
Over the edge, one last cry, Hush!
It's so red beneath me, on the streets,
It's such a red sky too...
And the rain begins,
Washing away every last trace,
Of you...
And I'm one again...



Friday, September 17, 2010

The REPLYKA Series: BEFUDDLED

Sap:
Showcase Brothels
of rotten idols and their scandals
the swindles and so, the dwindles ..
some are just poodles and others, noodles
the erstwhile pharaoh fuddles..
our entire race chuckles
to break a dream..
one of morphine
searchlights enter skin..
begging succumbs to bleeding
Brilliance - crumble, fade, bereft..
and what is left ..
are whores in showcase brothels



Punky:

Befuddled
of cotton candies and cuddles...plastic and puddles....
and lonesome muddles...
someone doodles and dawdles...
while sorrow huddles...
a face curdles...
into a scream...
at the extreme...
lights get dim...
being becomes seem...
Silence...final,apathetic,deft...
and what is left...

someone who just ogles and gurgles...




Saturday, September 11, 2010

Sebestyén Márta Szerelem, szerelem

This is a beautiful song,which I first heard in the opening credits of The English Patient..a haunting melody...when I listen to it,it takes me to faraway places...as if I'm flying over azure seas,exotic lands,green and gold countrysides...close ur eyes,and just let this lovely song engulf you...



The REPLYKA Series: TOSSED

TOSSED
Sap:
tossed in a cloud of ashes ..
tossed in the furl of bruises ..
tossed in the narc chimneys of my remain ..
tossed..

tossed and drowned again ..





LOST
Punky:
lost in a crowd of faces....
lost in the swirl of dresses....
lost in the dark alleys of my brain...
lost...


lost and found again...




Saturday, September 4, 2010

The REPLYKA Series: HIGHWAY MAN

Punky:
Hey Highway Man...
What have you got there for me?
A yellow rose or a beer can...
Or are you just gonna let me be?
Oh Highway Man...
With your dusty peeling Chevy truck...
Seal this deal with a kiss,wont you?
Before you go into the sunset,into the dark...
I'm yours, Highway Man...
You smell of the road,the sky,the blue sea...
Take me as high as you can...
And i'll be...just me...so free...


Sap:
Hey Downtown Girl,
I've something for you here..
A guitar plectrum or a big black pearl
Its nothing for you to fear..
Oi, Downtown Girl,
With your voluptuous revealing Gypsy buttock..
Peal this meal with some zeal, won't you?
Before you fade away, leaving me moonstruck..
I'm yours, Downtown Girl,
You smell of home, love and joy..
Take me in, let our passion unfurl..
Let us be destroyed.